Descendants of the Sun

I finally watched the popular Korean drama 'Descendants of the Sun' or DOTS (on Netflix). Yes, I am five years late; if you were to add that Harvard road trip, it would be 15 years. Although oppa Gong Yoo didn't act in this, I think this is the drama that resonated the most with me. It isn't because of the jeeps (we owned a red Jeep Wrangler). It is more the storyline of the second lead couple, Master Sergeant Seo Dae Young (call sign Wolf) and Army Surgeon First Lieutenant Yoon Myung Ju.

I have a certain attraction for men in uniform--the armed forces, the air force. I don't know why my pheromones are attracted to theirs. Maybe it's because I value loyalty, dedication, integrity and that sense of responsibility. It could also be because I have the most arrogant, self-centred and irresponsible father. Hence, I suppose I would like my partner to have the values that one would associate with that of a dignified military officer.

My childhood ambition was to be a doctor. Long story, cut short, I am not one. Some years back, I had entertained the idea of going to medical school and trying to achieve my dream of being a surgeon. The two female leads in DOTS are surgeons. Dr Kang Mo Yeon was on a volunteer medical mission to Uruk (where the fictional special forces Alpha team was stationed). I had wanted to join Medecins Sans Frontieres (Doctors without Borders) if I become a doctor. I wanted to be a field doctor. I was fortunate to have some experience helping at the medical posts in Cambodia and in Meulaboh, Aceh post tsunami. I wanted that 'high' which I had when I was roughing it out helping people under the scorching sun. Alas, I should have taken the offer from the US Marines after I sat for the MCAT. They had offered me an Army scholarship for medical school in the USA with a bond of having to serve in the Marines for some years. I used the excuse that I am not an American citizen. They said they could facilitate my citizenship after I became a doctor. But I didn't take their offer. Perhaps, I should have. Then again, I behaved like the filial Asian daughter who stayed with her parents rather than pursue her dreams by throwing caution to the wind. 단결!

While working as a producer, I did some work with the Army and there I met my Master Sergeant Wolf, except that he was a commissioned officer. But there were some parallels with DOTS, my Wolf was not a graduate while I am one, and Wolf's mother harassed me and accused me of being desperate for her son due to his status and financial stability. Yeah sure, auntie. I may not have a 3-star General for a father like Myung-ju, but my family lineage is that of a prominent Malay mercantile family in Singapore. Like how Dae-young faced challenges from Myung-ju's father, I too faced similar challenges. Like Myung-ju who preferred the stoic and (to her, handsome) Dae-young (though Captain Yoo Si Jin, her father's son-in-law candidate, was charming and cute), I was blinded by Wolf and thought that he too was handsome (according to fellow friends, he isn't). Unlike Dae-young who wanted the best for Myung-ju and willing to sacrifice his own happiness for hers, Wolf did not honour his promises to me. Circumstances might be different but a man's words are his honour, n'est pas? Like Dae-young who ran away from Myung-ju many times, I 'ran away' from Wolf. I left him permanently and went to another country (for graduate school) and then interned at the United Nations HQ, just like what I had told Wolf's mother I would do. Unfortunately, my love story did not end like Dae-young and Myung-ju. Coz mine is real life and not a Korean drama series.

I remember how Wolf was as encouraging to me as how Dae-young was to Myung-ju. Dae-young was not threatened by Myung-ju's military status and even believed that she could be a 1-star General in the future. Wolf once told me that he could see us being introduced as Lt-Colonel Wolf and Dr Hidayah Amin (call sign Redfleece). He said, we could even go on missions together, him peacekeeping and relief missions while mine, medical missions. To that, I say (in a most vulgar tone used by the gang members who beat up Kim Ki Beom in DOTS), "Fucker, I also can say!"

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Postscript: Throughout the years, I had a few non-physical, professional contact with Wolf as in, my friends would pass him my books. While he used to thank me through some remote messages, he did not recently. I know he knows about this blog and if he is reading this, please know that "my feelings for you are long, long gone and that I have no intention of 'stealing' you from your family. Besides, there are more important things to do in life than to pine and wait for dishonourable cowards."