Friday, March 26, 2010

A Note to God - Part 2

Dear God, you probably already know what I'm about to tell you, but here goes ... I haven't been well lately and lots of things weigh heavily in my mind and heart. As much as I look forward to being a Cambridge girl, I feel so sad at not being able to study medicine, disappointing myself and mostly importantly Emak (Mum) and Nenek (Grandma). And you know how hard I tried! I've always accepted the turn of events and put my trust in you. Remember this conversation I had with Emak?

Emak: Cik Idah, I would like to seek your forgiveness.
Me: Why? You haven't done anything wrong to me. In fact, I should be the one asking you for forgiveness.
Emak: Remember when you applied for law school many years ago and how badly you wanted to be a lawyer? Well, Nenek and I were so upset. It's not because we don't love you; we love you so much that we didn't want you to be a lawyer. We know how passionate you are and how you would work very hard to defend your clients. And when you're starting out, you can't choose your clients, right? We didn't want you to be put in a position that you have no choice but to do the unethical and the haram (forbidden). So we prayed very hard that you won't get in law school. And when you didn't, we were so happy that our prayers have been answered. Of course you cried and it broke our hearts to see you in so much tears. So pls, forgive us...
Me: Emak, it's ok... Ultimately it's God who decides. Besides, things turn out for the best...

God, when both Nenek & Emak gave their blessings for me to pursue medicine, it didn't happen too... why? I've purified my intentions and did everything I could to achieve that dream. It's not about the prestige or wealth, I really do want to help the sick. And now, I'm embarking on the Cambridge path... God, if this path is good for me, then pls make the journey easier...


Nur Azlin said...

Dearest Hidayah,

Allah will bless you with what you need not what you want. Sometimes we think we know what is best for us but we forget that Allah the Al-Mighty Knows Best. Don't tell Him that you've put in all the effort, for He Knows the effort you put in. Don't question Him 'Why?'

Embark on the Cambridge journey with an open heart for He will reveal the hidden secrets in time. If you sincerely want to help the sick, InshaAllah, He will open other avenues for you.

Rencana Allah pasti indah.


ismail hamit said...

Your craving to persue your passion,touch me.
Will set a prayer for your success.
Hopefuly this will add on to your archivement,God Will,InsyaAllah.

Congrat on your book"Gedung Kuning".
Bila agaknya boleh baca"A Minah In Cambridge"??