Here's Story 4 from my umrah stories.
Story 4: The Old Man
I remembered my first umrah with my parents ages ago. I was young and didn't really understand the meaning behind all the rites. During that time, the kaabah was undergoing renovation and it was boarded up. I was very disappointed that I couldn't see and touch the black cloth covering the kaabah.
I also heard how our experiences in Makkah could be the result of our behaviour outside of Makkah. For instance, there was this wealthy and arrogant lady who insisted that she be given the best suite in the hotel. When she reached Makkah, she fell sick and could not even performed her
umrah rites. The day of departure to Singapore, she suddenly regained her health. But her trip was wasted. There was the story of this man who had allegedly committed some sins (not sure what) and when he stepped inside the Grand Mosque, he told his wife that he couldn't see the
kaabah. His wife told him that he was standing in front of the
kaabah and that she could see it. But the man said he could only see people. There were also stories of people who couldn't get out from the mosque as they couldn't find any doors (though there are many). Naturally, when I fell sick with cold and flu in Madinah, I pleaded with God to let me be sick for a day or two, and allow me to be healthy so that I could perform my
umrah. I asked God for forgiveness for all my transgressions and sins, and for Him not to punish me by 'hiding' the
kaabah from my sight. I told God that I wanted to cry in front of the
kaabah, to show my gratitude for all that He had bestowed on me.
When I stepped inside the Grand Mosque, I was overwhelmed with emotions. Alhamdulillah (Thank God), the kaabah was within sight. Despite my emotions, I didn't cry. Why? I asked myself. I wanted to bow and humble myself before the Almighty and cry. But I couldn't cry (I am otherwise quite emotional). Nevertheless, I was thankful that I was in His House. They say, one must be invited to Makkah. I know many wealthy and healthy people with the means to perform the pilgrimage, but they never did. When God wills it, it will happen. Even the impossible. Look at how God parted the Red Sea for Moses. Nothing is impossible for Allah (God).
Anyway, something happened when I was
circumambulating the
kaabah. We normally start
tawaf leaving the
kaabah on our left (the heart of man faces the House of Allah; Allah looks at the heart of man, not his appearance or status in life). Pilgrims would walk in one direction united in worship. As I was doing the
tawaf, I saw an old man walking in the opposite direction (facing me). He seemed confused and lost. He looked as if he was from Central Asia, Mongolia or Russia. He was dressed in worn-out clothes that looked as if they were from another century. His pants were held together with a belt-like rope and he was holding two cloth bags in his hands. It was strange that no one else seemed to notice him. The security guards at the
kaabah didn't seem to see him. They would normally help pilgrims but it seemed that the old man was alone, only seen by me. The old man looked at me. I wanted to help him but I couldn't turn my back and stop during
tawaf. I was conflicted and wondered what I should do. I made a prayer that if I were to see the old man again after my
tawaf, I would help him.
After I finished my tawaf, I tried looking for the old man. But he was nowhere to be found. I then sat in front of the kaabah. Tears flowed down my cheek. Sadness overcame me. I didn't know why. Was the old man the cause of my tears? Did I regret not helping the old man? Could the old man be an angel in disguise to test if I would help him? If so, I had failed the test! Was the helpless old man symbolic of the old men in my family--my father, my uncles, all in their 80s who rely on me to help them? I sobbed and sobbed. Allah had granted my wish to cry in front of the kaabah. But Allah had also shown me that perhaps I should have shown kindness towards the old and vulnerable. I should have stopped to help the old man, right? Why didn't I? Why didn't the others?
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