Daria's Rantings - Urukhai & Grinah (con't)

*I am posting this seventh ranting as my alter-ego the misanthropic Daria Morgendorffer 

Although Tolkien was from The Other Place (Oxford), I really like his writings! I was a little jealous when I found out that my friend got his old room at Oxford when he was studying there. I can imagine Tolkien siting on his armchair by the fireplace, reading and scribbling a new story.

Let me now tell you my story of Urukhai and Grinah. I’ve decided to post their horrible faces here (slut-shaming, you say?). Yes, no more Ms. Nice. The war commenceth.

Grinah is Urukhai’s slave. It reports to Urukhai. This Head Goblin runs the whole establishment, instructing other goblins to do its bidding. Grinah is shameless and believes it is invincible. The unscrupulous Grinah has enemies in the realm who until now, are waiting for Grinah to pay them for their services. Grinah aligns itself with other more popular goblins hoping to one day take over Urukhai’s position. Grinah appears to be passive-aggressive to confuse its followers. Grinah once conspired with the Pigs in Space to kill my beloved Ent in Fangorn Forest.

Urukhai seems like a very capable Orc leader. Apparently Sauron has utmost praises and trust in the fearless Urukhai. Due to its many responsibilities, Urukhai depended on Grinah to take care of the goblin world, thus giving Grinah that delusion of grandeur that Grinah is the real leader. Urukhai doesn’t meet Grinah often. But when it does, Grinah would mask all problems as if they were not his doings. Urukhai is not known for its diplomatic skills. It micro-manages every creature, even instructing them where they should stand in line. Once, during the battle of Mendki, more than 30 orcs/goblins quit Urukhai’s army. Some grand leader Urukhai is.

As with all fairy tales, legends, and myths, Good will always triumph over Evil. If a mortal Bard the Bowman could kill the great dragon Smaug, so could I defeat Urukhai and Grinah. Although cunning, Grinah is a coward at heart. And though Grinah is loyal and obsequious, it secretly loathes Urukhai. Urukhai is but a big bully who uses its power and fierce façade to intimidate others. Well, ‘beautiful creatures’, I am not afraid. Get ready for the battle of the century.